If I Leave

from The Hornet's Nest by Curtis McMurtry

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lyrics

I said let me live the way I want to since I won’t live very long
but every time we fight I realize I’m in the wrong

you’re still hungry for the fire and proud of all your scars
strong as anyone will ever be
but if I lift you up so you can touch the stars
who’s gonna do the same for me

if I leave will you say you saw it coming
will you tell your friends you threw me out the door
will you say that I was never worth the trouble
will you pretend you never hoped for any more

we talk over and under each other these days
every time I try to help I realize I’m in the way

I’m too fearless to be careful, too fragile to be kind
too stubborn to admit when I agree
and even when I know you’re looking down on me with love
you looking down is all I see

if you leave will I say I saw it coming
will I tell my friends you beat me to the door
will I say that you were never worth the trouble
will I pretend I never hoped for any more
will I learn to hate the sound of my own heartbeat
will I pray it’s you whenever someone calls
I don’t want to be reduced to my possessions
this apartment won’t be home without your paintings on the walls

credits

from The Hornet's Nest, released February 24, 2017
Curtis McMurtry- guitar, vocals
Diana Burgess- cello, vocals
Nathan Calzada- background vocals
Taylor Turner- upright bass
Evan Kaspar- pedal steel

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Curtis McMurtry Austin, Texas

Curtis McMurtry writes apocalyptic indie folk about the selfish and the cowardly. Influenced by Fiona Apple and Tom Waits, Curtis' music combines sinister lyrics with sophisticated orchestrations. He specializes in sad songs and mean songs, and considers his catalogue to be "music for people that like to read." ... more

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