The Hornet's Nest

by Curtis McMurtry

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1.
you stand forever over me without kindness or concern I know I must look desperate here with nothing left to burn and still you stare me down with eyes like hard blue stones you always find me when I’m trying to be alone so I welcome you inside with all my weaknesses revealed you’ll notice I still wear the bandage even though the wound has healed and I will always let you in as if I didn’t have a choice even though I know you’re lying it’s still good to hear your voice it’s so good to hear your voice
2.
I wave my hands and part the sea while you look on impressed but not amazed will you be alright if I’m never perfect will you be alright if I fall to pieces will you be alright if I don’t become the one you dream of your words sink in smooth as thorns simple and precise I bare my teeth respond in kind gentle as the ice will I be alright if you’re never perfect will I be alright if you fall to pieces will I be alright if you don’t become the one I dream of but you can’t let me go and I can’t let you go
3.
brother, don’t you get so sore I never meant to start a war It’s not my fault she loves me more than you some would say I crossed a line she put her lips up next mine and right then I forgot you were my friend I did it for myself you know I never meant to hurt you so but I can’t say I won’t do it again brother, don’t you get so sore I never meant to start a war It’s not my fault she loves me more than you It’s not a race unless I win I know where her mouth has been believe me when I tell you I don’t care and anyway she came to me I never made her do a thing you’re a grown man now, it’s time you learned to share I understand you’re angry but I don’t want to fight you you knew I was a snake so of course I’m gonna bite you there’s too many things to try between the soil and the sky no one could ever keep me in a cage you’re not the only one I’ve wronged I don’t know what side I’m on but you should know by now that I won’t change sister, don’t you get so sore I never meant to start a war it’s not my fault he loves me more than you
4.
let me confess this I’m sorry I don’t mean to be aggressive but when you hold my hand you look so restless I can feel it in your eyes dear, it must be all in your head because I’m hiding nothing I tell you everything you still don’t trust me am I so easy to despise? sometimes you say the right words with the wrong inflection now I’m unimpressed by yesterday’s perfection It’s hard to love myself with someone else around so though you make me weak I won’t let my defenses down I stay on my guard ‘cause every time we fight you push me too far stop insisting that I take things too hard you know I bruise just like a peach love this won’t do don’t pretend to know the pain I’ve been through when everything you have was handed to you you never even had to reach sometimes you say the right words with the wrong inflection now I’m unimpressed by yesterday’s perfection don’t sweep me off my feet I like it on the ground darling you talk so sweet but I won’t let my defenses down
5.
Bayonet 03:59
I’d lie down and die if I thought that you’d let me somehow I know it’s no longer my choice I walk the floors with my bayonet ready searching for somewhere to hide from your voice our love is gone, not a strand of it lingers but we’re both too old now to learn how to leave I’ll watch you fall and I won’t lift a finger please don’t pretend you’d do better by me I’ll work till I break though I’m already broken and I don’t have the strength to fight back on my own these days the edge off of any word spoken is more than enough to cut me to the bone you always run at the first sign of trouble and I hold my ground as if chained to the earth all that we built up has worn down to rubble now all this rubble is all that we’re worth
6.
Rebecca 03:48
Rebecca, I know there’s nowhere to go it all fell apart but it happened so slowly I didn’t notice that we were losing control Rebecca, don’t cry I told you no lies I kissed you back but I still don’t know why I don’t think I love you but I sure can get lost in your eyes we don’t belong to each other right now don’t let me be the one keeping you down who do you go to when I’m not around? is it someone I know? Rebecca, I see we’ll never agree and it’s hard to be callous to someone so sweet I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want you to hurt me Rebecca, it’s late and I can’t let you stay besides you still insist you don’t want me that way we said we’d be careful but lines in the sand blow away please don’t pretend that you don’t understand I can’t spend my life in the palm of your hand and when I’m in your arms I forget who I am so I think we should stop Rebecca, I know there’s nowhere to go it all fell apart but it happened so slowly I didn’t notice that we were losing control
7.
let’s celebrate desire and surrender to the flame let’s let ourselves be selfish there’s no need to be ashamed we were not made to let ourselves grow rotten on the vine I know heaven can’t be better than your body next to mine there’s nothing I prefer to being pressed against your skin no one can convince me feeling this good is a sin I will get down on my knees if you want for me to beg with your fingers in my hair my mouth between your legs I think you are perfection, I think you are divine I know heaven can’t be better than your… there’s no need for hesitation, no cause for any doubt you know I’ll love you even after every star burns out I think you are perfection, I think you are divine I know heaven can’t be better than your body next to mine
8.
Coward 01:43
I’m still proud to be a coward you’ll never make me choose a side I will not come to your rescue I’ll pretend my hands are tied so leave me starving in the orchard still I’ll refuse to join the pack because if I killed your god if I killed your god it would only grow back
9.
If I Leave 02:45
I said let me live the way I want to since I won’t live very long but every time we fight I realize I’m in the wrong you’re still hungry for the fire and proud of all your scars strong as anyone will ever be but if I lift you up so you can touch the stars who’s gonna do the same for me if I leave will you say you saw it coming will you tell your friends you threw me out the door will you say that I was never worth the trouble will you pretend you never hoped for any more we talk over and under each other these days every time I try to help I realize I’m in the way I’m too fearless to be careful, too fragile to be kind too stubborn to admit when I agree and even when I know you’re looking down on me with love you looking down is all I see if you leave will I say I saw it coming will I tell my friends you beat me to the door will I say that you were never worth the trouble will I pretend I never hoped for any more will I learn to hate the sound of my own heartbeat will I pray it’s you whenever someone calls I don’t want to be reduced to my possessions this apartment won’t be home without your paintings on the walls
10.
Tracker 04:54
I follow in your footsteps a thousand miles behind I’ve been chasing you for so long I can’t remember why but I grip your picture tightly so I don’t get swept away no star will ever shine as brightly as you do every day and I waded through the blood for to find where you had gone it was just as bad as Shiloh as bad as Babylon roll on, roll on now in every bedroom window I see your silhouette and though the wind blows hard against me it hasn’t slowed me yet no matter how I limp along I’ll still hold on to you like a lie I’ve told so many times I think it might be true
11.
no matter how hard I try to be careful I still end up in the fire somehow your honey tongue dripping all over and we’re still together for now we let the sunset unravel around us you hold me closer than I should allow just for a moment I want you forever but we’re just together for now together forever for now
12.
come on and see if you think you can be a contender better give us your best because we won’t accept a surrender if you’re convinced then put up your fists don’t be idle let’s see what you got if you want a shot at the title don’t wait for the world to fall in your hand fight on your knees till you’re ready to stand follow your pride but remember the tide when you’re carving your name in the sand fall through the cracks then claw your way back to the surface sharp as a thorn and certain you’re born with a purpose keep hold of the wheel, ‘cause you know even steel can shatter don’t be surprised if what you feel inside doesn’t matter don’t wait for the world to fall in your hand fight on your knees if you’re too weak to stand follow your pride but remember the tide when you’re carving your name in the sand struggle and strain until all that you gain turns rotten you can go all the way and there’ll still come a day you’re forgotten but if you’re not convinced, put up your fists don’t be idle let’s see what you got if you want a shot at the title
13.
Silver World 03:05
we tell ourselves we will be chosen if we draw lines we never cross a silver world where nothing touches and nothing gets dirty or lost but the lord is a wolf not a shepherd there’s no rope for us to hold on there is only one path we can follow we don’t go anywhere when we’re gone build your towers to the heavens nothing made is here to stay put up a stone to mark our bones until the wind wears it away when I’m gone give me no coffin lay me naked on a hill leave my body by its lonesome let the vultures have their fill the years will scrape away my voice and everything I ever knew the dead don’t care if they’re forgotten but the old, they surely do build your towers to the heavens nothing made is here to stay put up a stone to mark our bones until the wind wears it away

credits

released February 24, 2017

Curtis McMurtry- vocals, guitar, banjo, ukulele
Diana Burgess- cello, vocals
En Calzada- trumpet, vocals
Taylor Turner- upright bass
Mike Meadows- percussion
Evan Kaspar- pedal steel
Claire Trowbridge- bass clarinet

All songs written by Curtis McMurtry

Produced by Curtis McMurtry

Recorded and Mixed by Stuart Sullivan at Wire Recording in Austin TX

Mastered by Joe Gastwirt at Joe Gastwirt mastering

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Curtis McMurtry Austin, Texas

Curtis McMurtry writes apocalyptic indie folk about the selfish and the cowardly. Influenced by Fiona Apple and Tom Waits, Curtis' music combines sinister lyrics with sophisticated orchestrations. He specializes in sad songs and mean songs, and considers his catalogue to be "music for people that like to read." ... more

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